an e-Group for You

for recovery from sex, romance, and fantasy addiction

We meet regularly to share our experience, strength, and hope in support of recovery from compulsive sex, romance and fantasy

Ongoing Support for You

We hold meetings regularly in multiple time slots every week. Click here for the meeting times for your time zone. Click on the Meeting Room tab to participate. The meetings are much like face-to-face recovery meetings, but we type what we say and read what others share.

Members of this group generally use either a handle, pseudonym, or initialled last name. To change your e-Group name, click the Settings link in the right column and edit your name. Be sure to click Save when you have finished.

Latest Activity

 

Facilitate a Meeting and Make a Global Difference

We are looking for people interested in being meeting facilitator for just the four or five weeks in a row within a single month.  It would be entirely your choice what month, what time, and what day of the week. You can send me the following information, and we will set you up and make the announcement.

  • Your e-group screen name
  • Desired month
  • Desired time of day (i.e. 8 pm, 7 am, noon, etc.)
  • Desired day of week (Monday, Tuesday, etc.)
  • Your time zone or location, so we can place your meeting in the schedule in a way that makes sense to everyone worldwide (China time, New York time, Moscow time, etc.)

Check out our Pulse of the Group page to see our efforts to support recovery worldwide.

Your Grateful e-Group Secretary, Sarah

Gratitude Blog Posts

Another day of gratitude

Good morning

I am nada, sex and fantasy addict and codependent. Yesterday wasn't easy on me. There was a situation where i had to interact with someone i lately resent for making actions that i feel offended by which.I tried to apply step 4 on this earlier but i found myself falling in my negative thoughts about that person once we met. So, yesterday i applied step 4,5,6,7 on that situation one more time. I made an inventory to find out that it was jealousy, pride and lack of trust that were my motives. I shared with a fellow my inventory. And were ready to receive gods guidance and prayed to Him to protect myself and others from my jealousy and pride.. i did so, surrendered and went to sleep. Today is another day. And i need to remind myself with God's gifts in my life, that for them i should be grateful and by which i should be satisfied. So here is my gratitude list for today:

My health

My family

The 12 steps

My sponsor

My sponsee

My… Continue

Posted by green on July 3, 2017 at 4:10am — 2 Comments

falling into resentments...

 Hi . I am June slrfa

    Not sure where to start, i ve been rotting in resentments from time to time. I takes everything from me, sanity, peace, joy and gratitude. that's not spiritual my sponsor says and of course she is right .

   I am good at blaming other people about my rage anger and self pity , today ,i don't even need people to blame, i can blame God. i mean he s got me in this family of origin! I didn't ask to be born in this dysfunction!!I didn't ask to feel outsider or white crow in the family ,social situations. i didn't asked to be abused! and now i pass some of dysfunction onto my kids, and also self blame patterns too.....

         I mean all my life i felt weird. and ,, my addictive  patterns and also being a Victim really helped me to stay there,, at the bottom. I don't even want to share ,why would i? what is the bloody point... feell like a rotten fruit anyway! but i said i will do it so i am. hate these promises and commitment…

Continue

Posted by June14 on July 2, 2017 at 10:46am

Pass It On !!

Hi Recovery Friends!



Someone that knew my past twelve stepped me. It wasn't my past then. It was my present, and it was more than a little dangerous.

I was involved in a community where some people have dies of this, and it could have been me. I couldn't see it clearly at the time - the risk part. We all knew we were a little crazy but saw that as a good thing. I reveled in it.

When i started to hear, at meetings of this group in particular, that there was a powerlessness aspect and that my crazy friends and I weren't really choosing the life but rather choosing how to rationalize it, I started to wake up.

Recovery didn't happen for me by just strolling onto e-slaa.org or one of the other outreach pages. Someone told me about this place. When I showed up for a meeting and mentioned what I was doing, people listened without judgment. They told me to come back. That's how it works.

I asked someone to sponsor me. I followed the lead, and I got…

Continue

Posted by NicoleInRecovery on July 2, 2017 at 8:40am

Good days

I am Picard, addict. I had the first really good days in a row. That's awesome.

Posted by Picard on May 21, 2017 at 2:26am

Single parent in recovery

Hi everyone, June slrfa

       I came to this group approximately 1year and 10 mnths. i had some ideas for what is recovery  and it was so wrong!  I wanted to improve my  relationship with different gender ,so I have a man, and feel okay with myself, because of that :) and also that he took care of my children...and me.. i was not able to look after myself spiritually physically emotionally: the worse of all 3 was spiritual death.

         Relationship with man ,was the most important goal in my life! I am not joking, it is painfully true. today.

In my few dysfunctional relationships, after separation with my kids biological father ,man was always the priority! (That how I was tough in my dysfunctional family, social circle  i was tough a co-dependency really early on). working progress today :)

  I have never  though, that I d change so much, in my recovery process, that- The most Important relationships will become ,relationship: with GOD,…

Continue

Posted by June14 on April 9, 2017 at 10:32am

New start

My name is Missy.

I have only dipped my toe into SLAA literature. I have never been to a meeting. Not sure I could. Or want to. However, I accept that I am a sex and love addict.



I am also a gambling addict. One often triggers the other. If I don't get what my brain feels is an emotional fix from love or sex then I find a machine. I have come to realize that these are unhealthy coping mechanisms.



I'm married. Our sex and emotional life is lacking. This started four or five years ago. The proverbial one that got away came back in my life. Also married. He did what he always did chase my affections.



It started over Facebook and email we eventually met and he couldn't go through with it, not even a kiss despite all the chase, sex talk, mind games. I became obsessive and wrote him hundreds of emails. At my low point I got mad and slept with his former best friend. Partly because I was sexually frustrated. Partly out of anger. This pushed him away.… Continue

Posted by Missy on March 29, 2017 at 11:00am

Update from addictio_expelliarmus: The Recovery from Pornography

Hello e-SLAA,

Currently at this time, I have relapsed only three times but did not feel so much of a drastic after-effect like I normally would on a consistent porn binge.  The reasons for this is easily explainable.  I finally have established myself a routine, in which I would determine how I would spend my time.

I.  I cut off the Internet entirely at home, in which I can no longer get online due to loss of trust in myself, lack of self-respect for myself, and my inability to curtail the sexual thoughts.

II.  I gave up gaming on my computer, and finally decided I should try new hobbies that involve socialization as part of my recovery.  I took up Airsoft, and Magic the Gathering as two hobbies to undertake.  I also have invested into X-Wing Miniatures to meet with a man, who served in the U.S. Army.  I have learned how to socialize with others, even though my gift of gab isn't there; it is building up slowly.

III.  I exercise…

Continue

Posted by addictio_expelliarmus on January 21, 2017 at 11:38am

2017 Gratitude

Dear Recovery Friends,

It has been too long since I write a Gratitude Blog entry.

There is so much to be grateful for. Ten years ago, I was in middle school and my sex and love addiction was in full force. My head was in a cloud of romantic fantasies nearly every waking hour. I was entrenched in the after hours culture and although I was doing less ecstasy and other drugs than others in that crowd, I was having much more anonymous and dangerous sex than most.

The amazing thing is that I got into recovery through this group so early on in my life that I have very few permanent consequences from that crazy and medically and criminally dangerous life.

I escaped (through an alleyway) from two busts, and I had multiple medical checkups because I didn't believe that I could be HIV negative.

Recovery is a blast. I'm feeling very grateful today, and I've seen things and experienced things I never could have seen if I hadn't attended meetings here and…

Continue

Posted by meg on January 15, 2017 at 10:21am

Notes about the Porn Weaknesses

In order to expel the addiction out of my body, I have come to the following conclusions which regards the recurring problem of visiting tube sites and satisfying my urges.

  1. I can no more stay after 12 AM.  The risks of viewing tube sites are greater at the specified time.  The more time goes on, the more at risk I am for completing the vicious addiction cycle.
  2. I can no longer eat processed foods or sugary drinks (such as Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper, or any other soft drink in large quantities).  I noticed that if I drink only one Dr. Pepper in one day, it will suffice.  If I drink more than 2 or 3, the urge to return to my addiction will increase over time.
  3. Fasting every day seems to shrink my body's weight but helps with purifying myself of the addiction.  However, it comes at a cost.  I could end up making poor decisions, in which the brain (lacking the "nutrients" it needs to satisfy its dopamine hits) will force me through rationalization,…
Continue

Posted by addictio_expelliarmus on October 15, 2016 at 12:45am

Personal Power: Breaking the Chains of Weaknesses

Currently, I seek my own personal power: self-discipline, self-control, and willpower.  These three must become extraordinary.  To have these as extraordinary, I may break the cords that bind me...

My personal power seeks some very important things:

  •  To eliminate the masturbation/pornography addiction.
  • To master entirely the German language.
  • To become the best Programmer and Geschäftführer (or Generaldirektor) ever lived.
  • To become verheiratet (to be married) to meine Schatz.
  • To remain healthy, powerful, and wealthy where I could say, "Money is of no object" when I buy anything.

I have attended local meetings, but failed to make up for the meetings; partly because I have been aggravated with women appearing in the meetings.  I'm more of an equalist, where if women desire their own meetings, they should never attend men's meetings.

I have failed the addictions many times…

Continue

Posted by addictio_expelliarmus on October 2, 2016 at 1:22am

Forum

Recovery Experiences

This forum category is for sharing personal recovery experiences, challenges overcomed, and stories of personal growth.

50 discussions

Outreach

This forum category is for discussing outreach, public information, the worldwide need for recovery, and cooperation with professionals.

17 discussions

Working the Steps

This forum category is for sharing experience with the Twelve Steps.

14 discussions

Traditions and Concepts e-Inventory

This forum category houses discussions on the Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts compliance of this group and of S.L.A.A. as a whole.

1 discussions

Group Business

This forum category contains the details of the business of e-SLAA.org, working within the e-Community Business Guidelines.

5 discussions

This e-Group Space and its Recovery Groups

Under the Third Tradition, each group is autonomous except in matters affecting the fellowship as a whole. The Recovery Movement was founded on a principle of open-mindedness.

The groups that meet here are legitimate groups of their respective fellowships, using the meeting space provided by e-Group7.net. The meeting space at e-Group7.net is essentially like an online version of a metropolitan club, containing Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and a variety of meetings of other fellowships. In the case of e-Group7.net, we host meetings related to romance, fantasy, and sexual addiction. Unlike clubs, we can hide the preamble and steps of fellowships other than those corresponding to that of the meeting about to be held.

An online group that relies on free services from providers such as I.R.C., Google, Yahoo, or in this case, Ning.com and e-Group7.net is not endorsing or affiliating with an outside enterprise, just as when face-to-face group rents from a church or the Y.M.C.A. or when a fellowship holding an International Recovery Convention rents hotel space, these groups and fellowships are not endorsing or promoting those organizations. Rending space is a part of the realities of not meeting in people's homes, as was done when Alcoholics Anonymous was born.

Regarding our resources page, although we may list materials from a variety of sources, we do not recommend them or endorse them, and we clearly mark which materials are conference approved by which fellowship as applicable.

 
 
 

Important Info

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Events

Why We Joined

  • There are no meetings in my country.
  • No meetings here and need support
  • Large communities still have zero S.L.A.A. meetings.

  • Want to join in S.L.A.A.'s further expansion into the worldwide community.
  • Want the program of S.L.A.A. to spread like wildfire.

  • Having difficulty with anonymity at in-person meetings because of the visibility of my career.
  • Email lists are unwieldy but want online recovery.

  • To get answers to questions I've had.
  • To be fed.
  • To hear other addicts experience hope and strength.
  • Love recovery.

  • Able to sponsor.
  • To spread my experience, strength, and hope.

  • Am a recovering sex and love addict.
  • I belong.
  • In Recovery.
  • Member of S.L.A.A.

  • For recovery.
  • To try recovery.
  • Further my ongoing recover.y
  • More recovery is always a good thing.
  • To remain well and heal.
  • For strength and hope.

  • For fellowship and support.
  • More contact.
  • The need to reach out to keep my sobriety.
  • For connection.

  • Love addiction.
  • Addicted to sex.
  • Have a history of addiction to love, sex, and relationships.
  • Dating sometimes rules my life.

  • Am Conference Service Committee Chairperson.
  • Am Conference Internet Committee Chairperson.
  • Am Conference Member Retention Committee Chairperson.

  • Was invited.
  • Heard about it at the Florida Roundup.

  • Convenience.
  • Difficult to get to a weekly meeting in this area.
  • No time for meetings.
  • For when I cannot get to in-person meetings.
  • Little time to make regular meetings.

Future Upgrades

The goal we have in mind is to improve the ability for people to get involved in service. There will be a database-driven system for signing up to chair for a given time, day of week, month, and facilitator's time zone. Facilitators shall be asked to agree to the facilitation guidelines and choose a format template for their month: discussion, speaker, step, etc. The schedule will be updated and the notices will go out to the entire group automatically.

Additionally, the audio aspect of the group will be updated to go back to real voices instead of mechanically generated voices for the preamble, steps, guidelines, and newbee pages.

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